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I wish you were different w4m You were so cruel to me. The lies. The mind games. The sleep deprivation. Love with you was a constant battle for control, and you almost broke me. I think that's what you wanted. And I think you want it still... You never won, you came close but you never broke me. And that's why you won't leave me alone. So I'll say this to you and I hope you see it and know that it's written for you:
I won't ever be able to forgive you for the damage you did, and I truly never want to hear from you again. I do hope that someday you find a way to be better than you are, for your own sake, but I won't hold out for it because I think that you might lack the ability to feel like normal people feel and that you will always be a manipulator and a liar. Without the intent of causing you additional harm, I'm going to say that I think you should seek clinical help for what might be actual narcissistic psychosis. I don't think you're a horrible person... I think you did and said horrible, unforgivable things. But, even despite all of that, it's true we had a connection. Had, but will never have again because it is simply not worth the pain. A few people have come close to understanding me the way you did, but it's true that nobody's made it all the way. And it breaks my goddamn heart. It really does. After a while I asked God to bring me someone who was just like you, but without the parts that hurt me so badly. He did. And I am so, so thankful for this pure-hearted, good, kind man. He's your photonegative and I love every inch of him. But it still makes me sad. You make me sad, for you, for the horrible experience our relationship was when it could have been something that left me smiling instead of crying.
I know you aren't coming here; I wish you luck with your PhD. Still, there's nothing I can do to make you stop contacting me, except ask. So, I'm asking. Because I do believe that in some dark, twisted way, what you feel or felt for me is somehow your own peculiar brand of love. Maybe, since you wanted to apologize, there's a part of you that is willing to grant me peace from you and our past.
Thank you for the lessons I learned from local swingers ready casual encounter horny pussy being with you. Ultimately, I'm wiser now, and our experiences gave me the gritty dose of reality that my natural naivete so wretchedly required. Now it's time to leave me alone so we can both find peace and move on. Maybe we will find other people to have that connection with, and if we do then I hope it's healthy and isn't marred by the pride, insecurity, and shame that you used to inflict harm on me. I hope you find happiness if you haven't already found it. I hope you find a deep-seated happiness that fills every crag of your being and makes you into the beautiful person I really wanted you to be.
I wish you the best, from that place inside of me that still sees the good in people.